Homeless - 67

Fellow mammalian bipeds,

Hiya!

I know that I've been gone for awhile, more than was my intent but the push and pull of the world dictates my actions - amount of time spent on endeavors. Perhaps some of us carve our way into the world, perhaps some of us are buffeted about by the designs of destiny...and perhaps I'm just a dumbass, older and wiser but still an idiot riding the currents of fate.

Life goes on for me - day 20,101. The nights are less colder in this area and more tolerable. BT has had an oil change and her fuel system cleaned. The techs removed the fuel filter and cracked it open and it looked like dirty creek water which does not contribute in a positive way to engine performance. Her injectors were cleaned, and her air filter and PCV replaced. Registration and inspection sticker renewed - gotta keep her legal. The next check will renew the insurance with AIG; you know, the 'too big to fail' company. I didn't hear of that rationale in my business courses. BT still looks good but not 100% mechanically. Maybe 80-85% combat capable. She needs a new radiator because the current one is leaking and a tune-up is in order. Hopefully these things will improve the gas mileage. Need to save some bucks...

The job at the information dispersal facility is going well. The people I work with are a bunch of excellent humans, both in expertise and social technique...except for a couple of dickheads which we will touch upon later.

I hit a stump in the other writing project regarding the second chapter. I took some time reading 'how to' manuals and reading of other authors' mechanics, transitions, etc. In fact, took some more time reading of other authors. Did you know that five of the American authors that have won the Nobel prize for literature were alcoholics and/or drug addicts? I guess some people need a alteration of consciousness to get to where they need to be. I need to make more money to better position myself to chemically reach those altered states of...creativity. Maybe not, due to that some of the other projects material comes from the non-linear side of me.

I took time to review my notes and outlines on the project. I keep all hand written and printer...printed text in a backpack in the fine writing study of BT. I know I had a couple of chapters under construction but I didn't realize that I had six, yes, six underway. The material was beneficial to recalibrate my focus and now I feel better prepared to work on the second chapter.

I picked up a few pounds. No, silly, I'm talking of body weight, not marching powder, srooms or the devil's weed. Fast food is easier and cheaper, much cheaper but it has a lot of carbs which ain't good for fitting into the ol' party thong. The original jeans still fit though.; I'm still a 36" inch waist with the reflexes of a cat.

The weather in these parts has been unreliable for a person of my limited means. Of course, that is probably true in other parts of the planet, not to mention the global economy. I almost swapped my winter gear for my summer designer attire but I felt a whisper not to. I did go as far as donating my premium $14 Walmart blanket to a Goodwill bin. And there were a few nights since then that I could've used that furry puppy.

I haven't worked out on a consistent basis since the first of the year. Something about the cold weather. Also there was that other thing that had the facility shut down for nearly three weeks - a man suicided in the women's bathroom on a Sunday and he wasn't discovered for nearly a week. I remember working out a couple of times during that week and noticed the aroma but I thought the place was having plumbing issues...again. That area ain't exactly a premier socio-economic section of the town. The third time of that week I went to work out, the smell was so bad that I walked back out. From what I found out, the guy had a wife and three kids, lost his job and they were about to be evicted. He locked himself in the bathroom, wrote a note and ...self-terminated. His determination is to be admired in a way, or maybe his action was a reflection of his pain - he cut both wrists and both sides of his neck. I heard the place was covered in blood. The police had that yellow tape around the facility for nearly three weeks.

It seems he lost love and hope and the demons of despair and defeat consumed him. Now he will never see his children grow, hear their laughter or see the shine of joy in their eyes; will never take his wife's hand and look into her eyes with a smile on his face and say 'Baby, I told you we would make it' when their life paths reached better times. It seems that love of self and family can provide the determination to fuel the continuing struggle, and hope can present a goal to fight toward and to dream of achieving in the near future, Maybe if a person loses those two attributes it just hurts too much to remain alive. But then again, what do I know - I'm living outta my vehicle.

The next 3 or 4 entries will be about something that all of us experience at times in our lives. It has occurred to me over the past year and half. I've been meaning to share it with you but I wanted the situation to end in success; that outcome is pending. But I thought maybe you could use it in your life, maybe apply it better than I have.

Later,

David