Greetings,
To continue...
As to the condition of my mobile living quarters, Black Thunder, she has been in better shape but she is still a contender. She looks good but in need of 3000 - 4000 bucks of attention to restore her to nearly 100% of baseline functionality. The winter season in Dallas started out more intense than usual, the past couple of weeks not withstanding, and cold weather and machinery are not a premium recipe to inspire confidence in the transport system that a person relies on heavily. One of BT's issues is a deteriorating fuel regulator that will cost nearly $500 to replace, most of that cost comprised of labor. I feel fortunate that she starts in the cold mornings after a few attempts. Well, I'm working on that issue.
I had to spend $80 for a tire a couple of days ago. I noticed a significant lack of air pressure in the right rear tire and thought I could have it patched despite the baldness but alas, it was not to be. I'm glad I had the money but I was saving that for the fuel regulator. In the next couple of checks or three, I have to get another tire for the left rear side. This next check will be devoted to a $130 repair of the brakes and a $60 registration sticker.Oh, how the gods are having fun with me.
The winter started out with a bang toward the end of the past year with two, yes, two, snow accumulations and with temperatures dipping to the mid-teens. Usually this area sees a flurry or two toward the end of January or early February. Recently, it has been more seasonable; like today, with high around mid-70's. I'm walking around in tank top and shorts with flops but I haven't thrown away the winter thongs just yet. There could be a couple more of those vicious cold fronts in our future.
There have been a few times that I had to get BT up and running after a few hours of sleep because of the cold. On the coldest nights, I sleep in sweat pants (with athletic shorts underneath...and boxers) with my rippling torso layered with tank top, T-shirt, long-sleeved pull-over and a pull-over sweat top with hood. I leave the socks on, thank you. When I turn in for the night, I wrap a towel around my feet, position a blanket (Walmart special) over my young supple form, put another towel over my lower body and another towel over my upper body. When I lay down in the cab, my final preparation is to position a hand towel (have three) to cover my face, pushing the ends of the hand towel to each side of my face with the hood pulled up over the baseball cap I wear, keeping my mouth and nose from the biting air. Believe me, you will wake up if your nose gets too cold. And, yes, only my beady little eyes are visible.
This keeps my nose from being uncomfortable and makes sleeping easier since the hand towel is warmed by facial heat, allowing me to breathe warmer air while I snore the night away. Without that small modification, sleep would be impossible even though the rest of the body is comfortable. I keep a bottle of water in BT and that has been frozen in the morning on those occasions. I've read of people who have died in similar circumstances and the first time I settled in, I thought that maybe this would be the end of road. I'm certain that I could have found shelter but there was a challenge there that I had to confront, to test my tolerance. I never slept in conditions where the wind chill approached zero - at least, not in a vehicle. Anyway, upon awaking I thanked the spirit of the universe for my continuance - no doubt so that it can screw with me later for its own amusement.
On those cold times while I was waiting for the interior to warm to acceptable levels, I was also waiting for the ice to clear from the windshield - the inside of it. Remember those times in your adolescent when you were 'parking' with someone, trying to swallow each other's tongues and groping like a fiend, both of you at the mercy of raging hormones? Remember the fogging of the vehicle's glass form the CO2 in your exhalations? Yeah, it freezes.
Anyway, BT and I have made it this far but each day I hope I can make it through the next next 24 hours with current resources intact. If BT fails at a level that I can't compensate for, that event would significantly alter my daily world. Without her, I would have to take whatever I could carry and head to a homeless shelter, That would mean loss of job and mobility and other opportunities. Hopefully, it won't come to that.
There is something enriching to your life when you realize that you may not be around in the next 24 hours. Many people say 'see you later' or 'talk to you tomorrow' upon parting. I say the same things but I lack the certainty of fulfilling those words - every time, due to a myriad of factors, could be my last time in a particular situation. Maybe having that realization adds a 'freshness' or 'newness' to the experience, negating the possibility of a boring repetition. Maybe that is one of the things that I came to realize at a emotional level, beyond the rational, that certainty of continuation is an illusion, a facade that our ego employs as a pillar of a foundation that is structured in such a way that makes us believe we are indispensable.
Maybe I stood too close to a fully functional bong in younger years, too.
Next time,
David
Friday, January 22, 2010
Homeless - 70
Hello,
Continuing....
The work environment has improved significantly over the past few months. I work part-time as a Librarian Page in the public library system. I know what you are thinking - Wow, David, you can work on your writing project at work because when I visit the library, all of you mostly sit around doing nothing with your thumb up it . You are wrong, Sparky. What you are thinking is mostly true about library personnel, sitting around looking pretty but my job function is doing the 'grunt' work, the physical stuff that involves sweating, especially during the summer months. It is physically demanding if it is done right and I leave work tired at the end of each shift. I wear a tank top underneath my collared pullover and that top is not dry at day's end. I am part of a four-person team that has been reduced to a three-person team due to budget constraints and other concerns but the three of us are achieving a greater level of output. I work with a great bunch of people who share a common work ethic and sense of humor - we have fun. Most of us have met off site to further indulge our fun-loving past times. Most of my co-workers are female and attractive with a sense of humor. And they often bring food to share. Perhaps they sense that I am less dangerous with a full belly. No, they do not know of my situation.
Nearly all of us are familiar with the attributes of an ideal library environment - quietude, whispered conversations, the rustle of paper being manipulated, the soft clicking of a keyboard being used. Where I work, it ain't that. It is a fookin' zoo especially in the later hours of the day. The last shift, the one that I work, is the busiest of the day. I have done harder work but I have done easier work, too. And, of course, every paycheck is a fortune, netting nearly $800 every two weeks that fuels the global financial empire of David Jones.
The increase of productivity that I alluded to earlier is due to a transfer of a Page to another branch, an individual who simply did not want to work, often times making more work for the rest of the team. The volume of his absenteeism was staggering and unacceptable. He lied about his co-workers, backstabbing at every opportunity, downplaying their contribution to team goals while grossly inflating his own. Of course, it helped his standing that the leadership thought that he walked on water and believed everything he said. It took over a year of myself and fellow co-workers voicing our concerns to the leadership and finally to the manager about the negative impact he had on our environment to finally effect a change. In my entire work experience, an individual that performed as poorly or had such a negative chemistry as he had would have been terminated within days. I was astounded at the inability of the leadership to resolve this situation. Management had to finally step in and effect the change.
He was transferred to another branch. Since his departure, the environment has experienced higher levels of production, the atmosphere is much better with his absence. The tenseness of the atmosphere due to his presence is gone. Our work environment has blossomed. All of us were able to interact freely without the dread that he would invite himself to participate, always in an inappropriate manner.
I hope you don't have anyone like this on your team. Or if you do, you have effective and responsible leadership to deal with it.
It is these situations that I almost wish there was a duelling code in our society, to address issues that cannot be satisfactorily confronted and resolved any other way. In those circumstances, I would pull out one of my high dollar gloves (99 cent Walmart special) and slap him across the face with extreme authority and say, 'Sir, you have offended me, your family, your DNA inheritance and every cat in the neighborhood. Volleyball at dawn, Sir!' ...or some such stuff.
Next time,
David.
Continuing....
The work environment has improved significantly over the past few months. I work part-time as a Librarian Page in the public library system. I know what you are thinking - Wow, David, you can work on your writing project at work because when I visit the library, all of you mostly sit around doing nothing with your thumb up it . You are wrong, Sparky. What you are thinking is mostly true about library personnel, sitting around looking pretty but my job function is doing the 'grunt' work, the physical stuff that involves sweating, especially during the summer months. It is physically demanding if it is done right and I leave work tired at the end of each shift. I wear a tank top underneath my collared pullover and that top is not dry at day's end. I am part of a four-person team that has been reduced to a three-person team due to budget constraints and other concerns but the three of us are achieving a greater level of output. I work with a great bunch of people who share a common work ethic and sense of humor - we have fun. Most of us have met off site to further indulge our fun-loving past times. Most of my co-workers are female and attractive with a sense of humor. And they often bring food to share. Perhaps they sense that I am less dangerous with a full belly. No, they do not know of my situation.
Nearly all of us are familiar with the attributes of an ideal library environment - quietude, whispered conversations, the rustle of paper being manipulated, the soft clicking of a keyboard being used. Where I work, it ain't that. It is a fookin' zoo especially in the later hours of the day. The last shift, the one that I work, is the busiest of the day. I have done harder work but I have done easier work, too. And, of course, every paycheck is a fortune, netting nearly $800 every two weeks that fuels the global financial empire of David Jones.
The increase of productivity that I alluded to earlier is due to a transfer of a Page to another branch, an individual who simply did not want to work, often times making more work for the rest of the team. The volume of his absenteeism was staggering and unacceptable. He lied about his co-workers, backstabbing at every opportunity, downplaying their contribution to team goals while grossly inflating his own. Of course, it helped his standing that the leadership thought that he walked on water and believed everything he said. It took over a year of myself and fellow co-workers voicing our concerns to the leadership and finally to the manager about the negative impact he had on our environment to finally effect a change. In my entire work experience, an individual that performed as poorly or had such a negative chemistry as he had would have been terminated within days. I was astounded at the inability of the leadership to resolve this situation. Management had to finally step in and effect the change.
He was transferred to another branch. Since his departure, the environment has experienced higher levels of production, the atmosphere is much better with his absence. The tenseness of the atmosphere due to his presence is gone. Our work environment has blossomed. All of us were able to interact freely without the dread that he would invite himself to participate, always in an inappropriate manner.
I hope you don't have anyone like this on your team. Or if you do, you have effective and responsible leadership to deal with it.
It is these situations that I almost wish there was a duelling code in our society, to address issues that cannot be satisfactorily confronted and resolved any other way. In those circumstances, I would pull out one of my high dollar gloves (99 cent Walmart special) and slap him across the face with extreme authority and say, 'Sir, you have offended me, your family, your DNA inheritance and every cat in the neighborhood. Volleyball at dawn, Sir!' ...or some such stuff.
Next time,
David.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Homeless - 69
Hiya,
To continue with the summer time...
On one of the occasions that the DPD visited the pool, one of the officers - they always dispatched two of them which given the social-economic conditions of that environment is a smart move - beckoned me by first name for a private conversation. She asked about my current status, how are things going and how is work going. She also asked about my writing project. I responded that everything is well and progress is being made though not in the expeditious manner I originally envisioned. She replied with words of encouragement and I thanked her for her concern.
Now, I didn't know who she was when the interaction began and I wondered how she had this information about me. Was she part of an international task force with the only goal of tracking me, to be positioned in the event that I go nuts? I did put it together when she turned and walked away. I, being a male, had just talked to an attractive women and did what every guy does with functioning hormones - I checked out her butt - and then I realized that she was the same officer from that night several months ago when I reported a burglary around 3 AM at the property that I sleep at. I know what you're thinking, David, didn't you recognize her from the previous encounter? You couldn't remember her face? You had to check out her butt for the recognition to click in, you moron? In my defense, it was dark that night, I was half-awake, I had several beverages that day...and I'm at a serious disadvantage because I carry the X chromosome.
As I returned to the pool tables that the group commandeers while poolside, I felt that more people know of my situation than I thought - I mean than those in my environment. There are only a handful of people who can connect this blog to me. A few of the pool group know of my situation but don't know that I keep an online journal. The people at work do not know of my current situation or of this blog. There are times that I have the feeling of unknown attention - I think some would call that paranoia. I only hope they are wishing me well. I also hope that they are guardian angels, assisting in whatever way they can, and are not the lap dogs of Satan and his dark underlords.
One of the reasons that I'm reluctant to share my current status with the majority of people that are in my current world is that I may have to contend with the stigma of being a person of no permanent residence. Human perception is biased, due to our socialization, experience and education, as well as molded by how information is presented to us by various media pipelines that have their own agenda. To a large extent, when the term 'homeless' is applied to an individual, human perception immediately initiates attributes that do not reflect the true circumstances of that individual's situation nor the character involved. I'd rather not have to expend resources to counter that perception or possible subsequent behavior that may arise because of that perception.
I imagine that there are some of you thinking of why I don't go to a homeless shelter. You don't have the information that I have regarding that issue. As long as Black Thunder remains functional and I have a source of income, I won't be a participant in that environment. I think I'm doing better on my own...with, of course, an occasional couch and home-cooked meal. I'm not saying 'never' but it is an option of low probability at this time. There are regular security personnel at where I work and I got to know a couple of them that had worked downtown where a lot of homeless gather. From what I was told, all that stigma does apply to them and that is not a comfortable situation.
Anyway, next time,
David
To continue with the summer time...
On one of the occasions that the DPD visited the pool, one of the officers - they always dispatched two of them which given the social-economic conditions of that environment is a smart move - beckoned me by first name for a private conversation. She asked about my current status, how are things going and how is work going. She also asked about my writing project. I responded that everything is well and progress is being made though not in the expeditious manner I originally envisioned. She replied with words of encouragement and I thanked her for her concern.
Now, I didn't know who she was when the interaction began and I wondered how she had this information about me. Was she part of an international task force with the only goal of tracking me, to be positioned in the event that I go nuts? I did put it together when she turned and walked away. I, being a male, had just talked to an attractive women and did what every guy does with functioning hormones - I checked out her butt - and then I realized that she was the same officer from that night several months ago when I reported a burglary around 3 AM at the property that I sleep at. I know what you're thinking, David, didn't you recognize her from the previous encounter? You couldn't remember her face? You had to check out her butt for the recognition to click in, you moron? In my defense, it was dark that night, I was half-awake, I had several beverages that day...and I'm at a serious disadvantage because I carry the X chromosome.
As I returned to the pool tables that the group commandeers while poolside, I felt that more people know of my situation than I thought - I mean than those in my environment. There are only a handful of people who can connect this blog to me. A few of the pool group know of my situation but don't know that I keep an online journal. The people at work do not know of my current situation or of this blog. There are times that I have the feeling of unknown attention - I think some would call that paranoia. I only hope they are wishing me well. I also hope that they are guardian angels, assisting in whatever way they can, and are not the lap dogs of Satan and his dark underlords.
One of the reasons that I'm reluctant to share my current status with the majority of people that are in my current world is that I may have to contend with the stigma of being a person of no permanent residence. Human perception is biased, due to our socialization, experience and education, as well as molded by how information is presented to us by various media pipelines that have their own agenda. To a large extent, when the term 'homeless' is applied to an individual, human perception immediately initiates attributes that do not reflect the true circumstances of that individual's situation nor the character involved. I'd rather not have to expend resources to counter that perception or possible subsequent behavior that may arise because of that perception.
I imagine that there are some of you thinking of why I don't go to a homeless shelter. You don't have the information that I have regarding that issue. As long as Black Thunder remains functional and I have a source of income, I won't be a participant in that environment. I think I'm doing better on my own...with, of course, an occasional couch and home-cooked meal. I'm not saying 'never' but it is an option of low probability at this time. There are regular security personnel at where I work and I got to know a couple of them that had worked downtown where a lot of homeless gather. From what I was told, all that stigma does apply to them and that is not a comfortable situation.
Anyway, next time,
David
Homeless - 68
Greetings, fellow humans,
Happy New year and congratulations on making it this far. Don't take it for granted - a lotta life-forms didn't.
I know I have been away for awhile but I assure you that I'm still fighting, still struggling from day to day, still keeping the hope and the dream alive, I have not been incarcerated and sharing a cell with a couple of guys who think that I'm cute. I have not been in any insane asylum, pumped full of drugs and drooling, talking to pink elephants. And, most importantly, I have not been abducted by aliens and probed in every bodily orifice repeatedly with extreme prejudice.
As you recall in my last post I alluded to a situation that existed in my life and expressed a desire to share with you a successful conclusion to that set of circumstances. I had hoped to report to you a victory, one of a personal nature, and to make available the strategy and tactics I utilized in that quest regarding personal development,
Well, I succeeded and failed but we will get to that in a few posts.
First, I'd like to bring you up-to-date regarding the past few months and my current situation.
It was a good summer. I've shared with you the two pools that are currently available to me - the party pool and the quiet pool with the former being the pool of choice on summer weekends and holidays. Every weekend, cookouts, cold beverages and water volleyball. I came out of retirement and played. The level of play was not as intense as I played in the past, a bit more subdued. However, there were times when a set was so well timed and beautiful that my inner competitive animal bypassed conscious controls and I unleashed warp speed spikes that were devastating, so powerful that the heavens trembled in fear. Thankfully, I had enough control to not cripple or kill my comrades nor deprive them of any body parts. At these times, I was reminded that it was just for fun after which I apologized profusely. Toward the end of the summer and only at night time, when the families retreated to the safety of their apartments, some of the female players would remove their tops. At the time, I could recall no penalty in the volleyball rules that forbade such an alteration in player uniform. They knew that I would not initiate any action that could result in any damage to the 'pillows of peace'...and, more than likely, they just wanted to be unfettered. The difficulty of focusing on a volley ball in those circumstances can prove daunting to a heterosexual male such as myself, well-versed in the ways of romance. On numerous occasions, several of the women would do the skinny-dipping thing - late night, of course, from innocent eyes. I believed I mentioned at those times that is good to be a man capable of appreciating femininity in a very basic form.
Due to the level of our play, there were several times that a resident called the police because of the noise generated by a group of people having fun. The DPD would show up and politely request the noise be reduced, due to a resident complaint and we would comply. Thankfully, during those visits, which on several occasions numbered more than once during a day especially on a holiday weekend, there were no 'pillows of peace' on display.
The group consisted of men and women of different education levels, sexual orientation, age and background. Of course, I was the oldest but much respected especially during volleyball play. And trusted, due to the fact that attached females would sit in my lap from time to time, even the women who were in a committed relationship with each other. The group dynamics were good. We still get together on weekends.
There were a few nights that I slept on the couch of one of the group - always offered, never asked. Those sleepovers were always a welcome respite from the Texas heat. There were several times I declined and slept a few hours in BT. Toward the end of the summer, I awoke earlier than usual and drove BT around in an effort to cool down myself and the interior of the vehicle. I would drive to another shaded spot and get a couple of more hours of sleep.
More later,
David
Happy New year and congratulations on making it this far. Don't take it for granted - a lotta life-forms didn't.
I know I have been away for awhile but I assure you that I'm still fighting, still struggling from day to day, still keeping the hope and the dream alive, I have not been incarcerated and sharing a cell with a couple of guys who think that I'm cute. I have not been in any insane asylum, pumped full of drugs and drooling, talking to pink elephants. And, most importantly, I have not been abducted by aliens and probed in every bodily orifice repeatedly with extreme prejudice.
As you recall in my last post I alluded to a situation that existed in my life and expressed a desire to share with you a successful conclusion to that set of circumstances. I had hoped to report to you a victory, one of a personal nature, and to make available the strategy and tactics I utilized in that quest regarding personal development,
Well, I succeeded and failed but we will get to that in a few posts.
First, I'd like to bring you up-to-date regarding the past few months and my current situation.
It was a good summer. I've shared with you the two pools that are currently available to me - the party pool and the quiet pool with the former being the pool of choice on summer weekends and holidays. Every weekend, cookouts, cold beverages and water volleyball. I came out of retirement and played. The level of play was not as intense as I played in the past, a bit more subdued. However, there were times when a set was so well timed and beautiful that my inner competitive animal bypassed conscious controls and I unleashed warp speed spikes that were devastating, so powerful that the heavens trembled in fear. Thankfully, I had enough control to not cripple or kill my comrades nor deprive them of any body parts. At these times, I was reminded that it was just for fun after which I apologized profusely. Toward the end of the summer and only at night time, when the families retreated to the safety of their apartments, some of the female players would remove their tops. At the time, I could recall no penalty in the volleyball rules that forbade such an alteration in player uniform. They knew that I would not initiate any action that could result in any damage to the 'pillows of peace'...and, more than likely, they just wanted to be unfettered. The difficulty of focusing on a volley ball in those circumstances can prove daunting to a heterosexual male such as myself, well-versed in the ways of romance. On numerous occasions, several of the women would do the skinny-dipping thing - late night, of course, from innocent eyes. I believed I mentioned at those times that is good to be a man capable of appreciating femininity in a very basic form.
Due to the level of our play, there were several times that a resident called the police because of the noise generated by a group of people having fun. The DPD would show up and politely request the noise be reduced, due to a resident complaint and we would comply. Thankfully, during those visits, which on several occasions numbered more than once during a day especially on a holiday weekend, there were no 'pillows of peace' on display.
The group consisted of men and women of different education levels, sexual orientation, age and background. Of course, I was the oldest but much respected especially during volleyball play. And trusted, due to the fact that attached females would sit in my lap from time to time, even the women who were in a committed relationship with each other. The group dynamics were good. We still get together on weekends.
There were a few nights that I slept on the couch of one of the group - always offered, never asked. Those sleepovers were always a welcome respite from the Texas heat. There were several times I declined and slept a few hours in BT. Toward the end of the summer, I awoke earlier than usual and drove BT around in an effort to cool down myself and the interior of the vehicle. I would drive to another shaded spot and get a couple of more hours of sleep.
More later,
David
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)