Homeless - 33

Good evening, mammalian bipeds,

Hope you are having a good one.

I have been out of action the past few days with a rib dislocation. For those of you fortunate enough to not have experienced this simple pleasure of life, it's when a rib becomes slightly detached from the socket that is connected to your spine and presses against nerves that don't take kindly to being pressed against. At first, it feels like a 'little catch' in your back. For me, it is always on the left side around mid-back. On the third day it is appreciatively discomforting to breathe deeply, sneeze, cough, laugh, stretch, walk and just about everything else that requires movement. Almost every type of respiratory endeavor involves some teeth gritting. I was prepared to beg my former chiropractor to snap it back in place, as she has in the past, mostly during water volleyball season, and after a couple of days of taking it easy, I was free to resume giving lessons to the younger, steroid-pumped players. That condition usually occurred when the ball intersected the perpendicular vector of the net, crossing to my side in the dreamy, slow motion surrealism of clocked-up perception and I would magnificently elevate out of the water not unlike a vengeful war god, droplets cascading off my tanned hide with a joyous gleam in my eyes, left arm cocking back to deliver a devastating spike to punish them for their lapse of concentration in forgetting that their strategy of keeping the ball away from me at all costs if they entertained any thought of winning. Or something like that. I need to get a T-shirt that says 'the older I get, the better I was'. Anyway, I wish that I could report that the injury happened while locked in a life and death struggle with an anaconda under a full moon protecting a cute marsupial grazing on the river banks but I think it happened when I was sleeping in my spacious quarters, adjusting my position while asleep. It snapped back in the day before with a satisfying 'snisk' and feels much better today. A pox upon the human ailments that the gods created to torment us for their amusement and, yea, a pox upon their heavenly hides also.


I went to the post office earlier this week to conclude my relationship with that particular branch and one of the personnel apparently recognized me from visits prior to the last one. She asked me if I was picking up my mail and would I like to renew my 30-day hold. Without missing a beat I replied yes. She went into the back and returned shortly saying my mail was forwarded to the address I supplied on my last visit. I thanked her and left. There is a highly tangible 'disconnect' from what is stated on the request card to hold mail (30 days) to the interpretations of policy among various personnel. I don't even work there and the inefficiency is driving me nuts.


If you recall from a previous entry, I was somewhat concerned about environmental contaminants negatively altering the appearance of my grey hair and came across a supposedly low-tech solution that involved baking soda and shampoo. It didn't work. I gave it a shot for two weeks and didn't notice a difference. That goes to show that some websites lack a significant methodology concerning material confirmation for assuring the accuracy of posted information. I'm thinking that the web, in its' current manifestation, be disabled and replaced with a structure that is amendable to current and projected utilization. Al Gore didn't invent the net to be used as it is today; it was originally created to allow another avenue of communication within the scientific community. Anyhow, I relented and spent $10 for a bottle of stuff that works and it has in only three uses. That stuff is called Shimmering White and it reportedly works on blond hair also...though I have no direct experience with that instance.


Another item that is not working as it should is my eyesight; yes, my ocular structures are experiencing an emotionally distressing reduction of capability. Several days ago, I was having an iced Dr. Pepper in the late evening at an outside table of a convenience store, enjoying the sunset and soothing breeze and watching the rude behavior of rabid motorists when I noticed a lens of eye wear under the concrete table and picked it up. I wondered how I could use this wondrous piece of technology that destiny put in my path and I could only think of starting a fire with it or using it in the tanning of hides, both practices being seriously frowned upon by municipal authorities. A thought came to mind as I was holding the corrective lens and I picked out a sign, one that indicated a speed parameter, approximately 80 meters away that I couldn't' quite make out. I looked at it through the lens and, yep, you guessed it - clear as a barnacle on a whale's butt. I said it before and I'm saying it now - a pox upon the gods. I used to be able to see, smell and hear two wet mice humping at nearly two kilometers away but, for the foreseeable future, I'll have to settle for two out of three. And, no, I ain't going the laser route. I just cannot get past the idea of employing a technology on my tender eyeballs that can also skewer effortlessly through the heavily armored combat hull of an attacking battecruiser.


The job front is progressing. The state fair of Texas begins next weekend, and thinking that there might be an opportunity, I called and found out about what they were looking for. I deleted that possibility from the menu of options due to the location (I'm afraid of that part of Dallas...even in daylight) and that I would have to be on my feet all day which I don't do very well. I called about a part-time position that dealt with medical supply delivery but the position was already filled. I also called about another job and found that it concerned telemarketing and sales and you know how I feel about that. Currently, I'm completing an application for a part-time position at a convenience store where I'm certain that my vast experience and education in large scale corporate computing environments will be strained to the utmost by selling lotto tickets, cigarettes, stocking goods and mopping floors. Well, it was fun in college and maybe it can still be fun depending on the in-store culture.


The days are getting shorted and the nights are comfortably cooler which could explain why I'm sleeping better at nights, longer and deeper. I'm even dreaming again which, if I recall correctly, is indicative of REM sleep; a state within the theta frequency of the brain's electromagnetic signature that is supposed to be needed and healthy. The quiet pool had been refreshingly cool but this week it has been downright bracing. A couple of more weeks and one might have to pause before entering those clear, inviting waters, taking time to gird their loins...so to speak.


Winter is approaching and if my future circumstances do not include a structure expressively designated as a shelter...well, that situation would present some new challenges. The Gulf coast could be an option; you know, do that 'Then Came Bronson' bit.


I wonder what ever became of Rikkiticitava....

David

P.S.

I had finished writing the above text and was rendering several biological systems to standby mode for rest and rejuvenation when a couple of benefactors dropped by after 1 AM. I swear these women do party at the odd hours during the week. I was invited over for a few hours of sleep; to fully stretch out on a crouton is something not to be passed up. Upon arriving, I took advantage of the shower using the moisturizing body wash, shampoo, conditioner and loofda. While I was in the shower doing the loofda thing while standing on a tub surface slicker than a hound's tooth, one of them was talking to me outside the closed door. I couldn't make out what she was saying to and told her to come in. They were telling me we had to be up earlier than usual due to an unexpected errand; had to be up by 5 AM and out the door at 6 AM, all this while I was thoroughly lofda executing. It wasn't like I had just returned from the Amazon without a bath for many days; in fact, I cleaned up that morning and shaved but I must have really needed the loofda bit to remove grime and git from my young supple hide. There was visible evidence going down the drain to attribute to this fact. After I finished the shower, I rinsed out the tub ensuring that I left it as I found it; clean and slicker than a greased pig in a Texas August. I was also doing my entire summer gear in the washer while these events were happening using their laundry detergent. As they prepared for bed, I asked if I could borrow some facial moisturizer and was directed to a small jar in the bathroom cabinet, advised that only a little bit is sufficient. She shared with me that the jar cost $30! Three small birds could have filled that container with their spit! Anyway, it was some good stuff. I also asked for some Q-tips since I left mine in the truck and received a 500 count box. So there I was, wide awake, all biological systems online, freshly loofda'd, hair shampooed and conditioned, teeth brushed (I did bring my own), face moisturized and alone since everybody hit the sack. I ate a left over taco and watched a bit of the Weather Chanel before dozing off. The morning got off to a later start than planned, about 75 minutes later but every one was out the door by 7:10 AM. There was only one mishap and I was the only one involved. While the ladies were getting ready, I stepped outside to have a morning smoke, going down the stairs from the third floor. Due to my lack of attention, I misjudged the the step on the middle floor and cratered. I don't ever remember busting my ass that early in the morning and I would much prefer coffee or Dr. Pepper for a morning jolt instead of a harsh impact with unyielding and unforgiving concrete. Pulling myself up by the railing and cursing my attention, I took stock; damage included two moderately skinned knees with just a little blood (no bone showing), at least a couple of jammed toes, a strained right pinkie and a skinned thumb knuckle. Estimate mobility factor downgraded to 75% of nominal function but may be revised later...possibly downward; no rassling with anacondas for awhile. The good news is that I didn't break anything or soar over the railing and land on a person out on a morning walk. The cigarette and concrete escaped without a scratch and I came away with a promise to be more aware. And I was happy to provide the gods with a few moments of mirth on an obviously slow morning for them. After getting the sun up, checking to ensure the principles of physics are still enabled and making sure the Divine Plan is still on track, it's time for a break and some laughs.

Gravity can be a harsh mistress...and a pox upon it, too.