Homeless - 47

Hiya,

Hope you're doing well and keeping your New Year's resolutions whatever they may be. If not, don't beat yourself up over it, there will always be next year. The important thing is try, try again to give the desired software routine a chance to purchase a foothold in that gossamer of self that you might call a personality. As for me, I find myself in a position of being unable to formulate any improvements of self at that this time. Or maybe another of my self-delusions.


The days of winter in this planetary section are getting longer as the season settles into the routine of the temperature ranges of 35 - 60 F. which is quite bearable for a human in my current lifestyle. There will be a few days still of freezing temperatures yet but only a handful. The appearance of the moon assumes a surreal quality in the cool crisp night as does the rising of our star, heralded by a ribbon of burnt orange across the eastern horizon in the awakening morning as the rhythm of life pulses stronger signaling the start of a new day in the struggle for life and continuance. Most clear mornings I drink in the view of the eastern horizon, savoring the upcoming challenges of the next hours. As I stand watching the magic of creation, with the breeze gently caressing my long hair and bronzed lean form, not unlike some pagan war master of yore awaiting the summons to the slaughter of the enemy on a desolate hilltop, I wonder what gifts and tests the spirit of the universe will put in my path this momentous day. On the other days, I'm freezing my young ass off, wishing the sun would hurry its' bright fiery butt over the horizon to begin pelting me and BT with some DNA destroying UV. I would suck as a military leader person. Gee, guys, I don't know. Whaddasay we do this when the weather is pretty. And we gotta be done by happy hour, eh? And what are we fighting over again?

The atmosphere in the Dallas area reeks of the upcoming match with New York this weekend. Unless you're blind, deaf and have the sensitivity of a dried up amoeba, you can't help but notice the breathless anticipation of the pending ground acquisition contest that awaits. This is the stuff that empires of old were built with...seriously. Gain some ground and plant a flag and call it yours. There might be a lot of people calling into work Monday to report that they are sick of something. I just hope that the game is not decided until the last ten seconds when nearly everyone watching is pleasantly hammered. I'm also hoping that I can catch the second half and get in a workout this Sunday in solitude.

I was a bit under the weather Wednesday and Thursday with the sniffles, sneezing and body aches. Sniffles might be too light of a word for it; between the sneezing and nasal drainage, I was probably losing a significant amount of body fluids daily. By sneezing, I probably expelled enough moisture to wet down half a rhino and by drainage, I probably left a small puddle everytime I bent over to pick up something. I guess it was a good thing I was off those two days - customer interaction is not optimized when you gift that person with body fluids of the mucusal nature. I slept in Thursday till 9:30 AM...I know! Slacker!! I spotted a sale of chicken noodle soup for a $1 per can and decided to allocate dwindling resources to purchase a couple. I was processing them through a self-checkout and noted that the price was more than indicated. I brought this to the attention of the clerk and she adjusted the price - to 50 cents per can! I don't know if it was an honest mistake or a willful execution of mercy on her part but I did scurry outta there quickly with the bounty without a backward glance. Perhaps she noticed my Darth Vader voice and thought that the poor fool needs every break that he can get. I went to the convenience store across the street to use their microwave (and procure a Pepper!). I added a couple of pinches of crushed red pepper to the soup in a Tupperware bowl, heated it up and consumed every morsel sitting in BT in the parking lot. I went back in to wash out the bowl using the soap in the men"s bathroom, refreshed the Pepper to the brim, thanked the lady for her kindness and left. Somebody had left nearly a full cigarette in an outside ashtray which I enjoyed several minutes later, topping off a most pleasant repast. I worked a bit on a crossword, then took a 90 minute nap and awoke later feeling much better. I used to think that the curative powers of soup were more of a placebo effect rather than an actual restorative contribution to overall health but I've read that the combination of the soup food molecules and how it is cooked does help significantly. Ahhh, the power of chicken noodle soup - not unlike the power of marijuana. Speaking of the placebo effect, did you know that it is effective 30% of the time?!? The pharmaceutical complex needs to do more research in this area. Imagine if we could cure ourselves of sickness without drugs with just the power of mind and...and...never mind. They need us to support their multi-billion dollar infrastructure. I'm surprised that they haven't denounced that effect as the work of Satan and his minions and if one has utilized this effect, report it on your tax return as additional income.

There was an article in the paper this week about a high school kid in a town less than two hours south of Dallas who has a length of hair that the school district, in their infinite wisdom, has issues with. He was warned before leaving Xmas break to have it cut before returning the next semester. He didn't and was suspended for three days with the directive to reconfigure his 'do' per school doctrine or be sent to an alternative school. The picture in the paper showed a normal kid; he didn't have his nose pierced with a crowbar or have nun chucks for ear rings. He is a straight A student. I could see the point if he was selling marching powder in the lunch room or wanting to teach a class entitled 'The Joy of Taxidermy and Your Family Pets'. Whoever participated in the formulation of that particular aspect of school policy has lost sight of the important thing - a student's joyful and enthusiastic participation in the educational process. Also, methinks that those are some old, bald buttheads on the school board who are suffering from a severe case of ' hair envy'; they probably never made a grade above 'C' in their life. What?!? He has long hair and a straight A student!?! He's outta here!!!

The job is going OK though they haven't promoted me to CEO as yet which leads me to seriously doubt the efficiency of the human resource process of the company. Of the the people I work with, I'm the oldest, tallest, most educated and experienced and most physically fit. Somehow, through some bizarre criteria of which I'm unfamiliar with, that means I'm assigned the tasks that are the dirtiest, requires physical intensity and height oriented. I know what you are thinking but I don't mind. A shipment of merchandise was awaiting to be unloaded when we arrived Tuesday morning. I'd been anticipating this event due to how it had been built up by management - the actual event fell well short of the fanfare. Two people called in sick, the assistant manager came in late when the truck was half unloaded and the manager sent one woman home due to some interpersonal difficulty that I'm not sure about. That left me, another guy and a wisp of a young woman to do the work. The manager ran the handheld scanner after she verified some shipping information from the driver. The three of us unloaded nearly a thousand boxes within a couple of hours with he and I handled all the heavy ones. I don't know what the company pays managerial personnel at the stores but I'm beginning to think it may be too much. At one time, I asked how a particular product was used and at another time, I asked how the company decided what products, and when, were shipped to a store. Both times I was told that I need not be concerned about those issues. On another occasion, I was tasked with cleaning an area and taking out the trash from several locations. Upon completion, I noticed I made a clean spot and proceeded to process three other areas that sorely need it. When I finished, I reported to the manager for another task. As luck would have it, the assistant manager was with her when I asked for another assignment. He told me to clean the areas that I took upon myself to tidy up. When I relayed that I had already cleaned those areas, he replied that he didn't tell me to do those tasks and that in the future, report to him immediately after I finished what he told me to do - he could have had something else for me to do. I replied that it seemed that I was a couple of steps ahead of him and turned to the manager and asked if it would be a good idea to clean the empty shelves in the store to which she agreed. Obviously, the environment does not encourage or reward initiative or curiosity of company business practices.

Do not make the mistake that I'm not enjoying myself - I am by giving the assistant manager shit at every opportunity. These days it amuses me to interact with people who hold a groundless high opinion of themselves and don't understand why other people don't buy in to it.When management is absent, my co-workers loosen up and we enjoy the company while doing the work but as soon as management comes around, they withdraw and become quiet, seemingly dominated by the bosses. Such an element in my environment triggers my aggression circuits - by now, you should know that I do not cater well to bullies and I don't kiss ass - I treat everyone as peers. I know what you're thinking and you're right; I won't be there long 'because I'm not a good fit'. One of the high points occurred several days ago, at least to my mind. There is a young woman who is a full time employee that is in the position of...I guess an assistant assistant manager. I have the impression that she assumes more weight of the managers negative comments without considering the source. to me, she seems beaten, dominated, whatever - ehhh, heavy of spirit. I've tried several times to lighten her mood but to no avail. Since the first of the year, when I became convinced of the orientation of the management of the store, I've taken liberties of jokingly critiquing management when she is around and especially when they are around if the situation warrants it. Earlier this week, I made some comment that I don't remember and she laughed - deeply. I saw her face and she was beaming. There is something about the eyes and face of a person who is experiencing a few moments of genuine mirth that is satisfying to the onlooker in some way. It was if she released something that she kept bottled up or maybe something escaped that was constrained by the conditions of her perceived environment. At any rate, while I was laughing with her, I felt a ripple of victory. I don't know why but I did. Maybe it was because I was able to see her unburdened for just a few moments.

Good luck to your team this weekend,

David


P.S.

A benefactor dropped by last night for an essential resupply to see me through to my first paycheck this upcoming Wednesday, first one in quite awhile. His wife sent along a care package of food and fruits. My fuel was running low and I doubted that I could make the trips necessary to work on the remaining fuel. He gave me his gas credit card and while he waited, I went to a service station to put a full tank in BT and I bought some cigarettes on his card. The trusting young fool didn't shoot me or extract a major organ last time I did that so I thought what the hell. After all, a man does not live on harvested butts alone. After he left, I inhaled the turkey sandwich his wife prepared and read a bit. Around 11 PM, I settled in for a night's sleep with the idea of sleeping in the following morning. I was awakened around 2:30 AM by a loud thump and looked out the driver's side window and saw two young males throwing a rock weighing about 20 - 25 pounds against a window of a business in the strip mall. Given the hour and the technique that was being employed to announce their request for a business transaction, I dialed 911 and described the clothing that the late night callers were wearing. Less than a couple of minutes later, a police cruiser came barreling in and caught one of them. Then three other cruisers showed up with a chopper circling overhead with a searchlight (didn't get a ride, dammit!). Several minutes later they brought some guy by and had him stand up against a wall away from me in the distance and I called them and said that he wasn't wearing the clothes that I described earlier and they let him go. A couple of minutes later, three other vehicles showed up that I assumed were post-burglary analysis humans in regular vehicles. I was hoping to remain anonymous to the perps hoping that they thought that they set off an alarm but then another officer came over to the truck to ask me a couple of questions. The apprehended perp was in the back of one of the cruisers less than 30 meters away. I thought so much for remaining incognito. I decided I might as well be visible in hopes of deterring...errr, future acts of retributions...so I got out of BT wearing a dark sweatsuit and put on a ball cap that has an intimidating insignia prominently displayed that might cause evil to pause and rethink...whatever thoughts that evil thinks. I stretched and went to the convenience store for a Pepper; it looked like I was going to be up awhile. For some reason, I didn't think it was prudent to go back to sleep with so many cops around. After the car with the perp drove away, a female officer came over with a few more questions. She had pleasing facial features and a pleasant voice and demeanor. As she walked away, my hormones whispered and I checked out her butt. Hey, so shoot my young hide! My libido is dormant, not eradicated. It's not that I harbor any adolescent fascination for attractive women in uniform or heavily armed attractive women, though a scantily clad, tall, lean warrior queen possessed by a killing frenzy hewing to and fro, wielding a broadsword with devastating effect against overwhelming barbarian hordes, her long hair blowing unfettered in the red dawn as the early morning wind weaves a raven halo of death about her head, her deeply bronzed skin ridged with exerted sinews, eyes smoldering with dark fury as she defends home and hearth does give me....but I digress. I don't think of such things much.

Anyway, everyone remained present to dawn and then left, leaving me all alone in an vacant parking lot, bright eyed and bushy tailed thanks to the Pepper and the excitement and the flashing lights, with just my thoughts as company which is dangerous in the best of times. I was thinking what if the perps decided to visit harm upon my young, supple self in retribution for their poor decision making. Then I thought what the hell. This past June when I made this location one of my camps and reached an agreement with the administrator of this property (previous log entry), the owner of the burglarized business approached me late one evening and said he appreciated me watching over the mall at night and gave me a $20. If I suffer trouble because I helped out an individual who was kind to me in the past who did not even know me, then so be it.

Well, my window of availability concerning hygiene matters is closed for the day. I wasn't planning to utilize that resource this morning anyway because I had planned to sleep in, hoping that the additional rest would aid my immune system in defeating this vile intergalactic virus that has been plaguing me the past couple of days. Oh, well...I start the day with a full tank of fuel, a full pack of cigarettes and a significant amount of fruit that will be consumed in the coming hours and a 12 pack of Pepper on sale, 144 ounces of caffeine and sugared bliss. Soon I will straighten up my living area, as per my morning routine - folding and stowing blankets and towels and positioning key assets for easy access...which takes all of 22.35 seconds. For my breakfast entree, I'll have a banana and for desert, an apple. Since I've been working, I've been having cramps (no, idiot, the other kind) in the back of my legs again. I was trying to remember what fruit to consume that would alleviate them when I was reminded by a benefactor that I need more potassium. Ding! Banana! Haven't had any cramps in the past few days since those little potassium molecules have been processing in system.

So here I stand again marveling at the magic of the coming sunrise in the cool morning crispness as the planetary terminator brings the approaching dawn, my physique cutting the air not unlike some ancient war master awaiting the call to this day's battle....