Homeless - 60

Greetings, humans of September,


This section of the planet has experienced a significant temperature change. Instead of 100 F days, we are now having 80 - 90 F days which makes a shitload of difference when you are trying to sleep in your vehicle during the night. There have been several times that I'd wake up a couple of hours after going to sleep, slightly damp all over, including hair. Even the half pillow had wet spots and I ain't talking about the good kind either. I'd stay awake for an hour or so, have a smoke and some water and try to get a couple more hours of rest. There were a few times when I snuck into the quiet pool in the wee hours and soaked until I got chilly. The place is will lit at night time. I would get in the darkest corner of the pool and submerge with just my head above the water line because, well, my lungs can't extract oxygen from the water yet. I entered and exited the water quietly, not unlike a deadly anaconda that...never mind.


This summer I slept in BT with the windows fully down and back glass wide open, thankful for any night breeze that the universe gifted me with. I know what you're thinking - that's not exactly the safest option, given the neighborhood, is it, buckwheat? I agree but is was the best option. Last summer, I was a bit more paranoid with windows halfway up while sleeping. I don't know if I got braver, more stupid or grew to not care. Maybe I accepted the fact that the universe can have this life at any time but I did...well, I don't know how to put it...'program' myself to awaken if a normal night sound wasn't...normal. There were three times when I awakened to approaching footsteps in the early hours and my body rose up, head turning toward the source - a source that quickly widened the distance to BT without a word being said. I may have mentioned that I do not sleep in a pristine, secure gated community. Anyway, so far, so good...well, until a gang of drunken Amazonian pygmies out on a night of the town, spot me and drag me out of BT and have their way with me in a way that I won't notice until I try to sit down the next day.


The Labor Day weekend presented a unique challenge - namely, that of not working for two days and not showering. Pool water can only go so far and it doesn't help the hair. The place that I shower at was closed those two days and believe you me, the shower, shampoo and shave were a gift from the gods the following day. Every square centimeter of hide quivering with girly soap cleanliness, every strand of hair wanting to flow free and unfettered in the breeze whether there was a breeze blowing or not, and every shaved pore moisturized into soft supple submission. Ahhhhh....


By the way, when I wrote shaved, I meant my face, not any other areas that a significant portion fo the population defoliates on a regular basis. Not that I have a problem with that practice. I'm sure that the personal grooming habits of some people...never mind.


Rain can be a bit to contend with when you are living out of a vehicle. First of all, I can't sit on a covered balcony, comfortable and dry and pay witness to one of nature's soothing, life-giving wonders. It gets kind of warm sitting in a truck with windows rolled up. If you recall, BT's AC is offline. Second, the towels that I use to dry off with after a shower hang in the back of the truck for a few hours to dry off. Ditto for the half-socks I wear at work and double ditto for the clothes I work out in. And, hell, no, they ain't coming into the truck until they are dry and can be put into the dirty clothes garbage bag behind the drivers' seat. So when it rains for 2 or 3 days, the back of BT looks like a teenager's room after a long weekend. At those times, I do a load of laundry to make myself feel better and to alleviate any embarrassment of BT by driving her while she looks like a mobile yurt fresh off the Asian savanna with clothes waving in the wind on the streets of Dallas. Oh, the humanity...


That being said, rain can be a blessing. Several days ago, some rain came through the area and cooled things down a bit; say, to the low 80's and high 70's. After moving from the night spot, I parked and read some and took a nap that I didn't wake from until after 3 PM! I tell you, the sound of steady rain pounding BT's young hide affects me like a handful of Valiums. At the end of the event, I solved one of life's greatest mysteries. You know those vampire flies that bite? Not the ones that buzz around and annoy but the ones that take a piece of your hide for food? The ones that are the bane of humans, dogs, cows, horses and any other mammal that uses hemoglobin as an oxygen transporting agent? Their purpose for existence was to wake my young ass up at 3 PM on that day. If that little carnivore didn't eat on me some, I have no doubt that I would've slept right on through work. As it turned out, I wasn't late but I always show up early, anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours for the computer access time. A couple of co-workers mentioned my 'tardiness' and was wondering about me. So, rain can be a good thing.


A couple of times a week I get a sausage and biscuit at a convenience shop/fuel/bathroom place. This is the same place where I get the cheap cigs, the ones that will shred you throat if you smoke more than one every two hours. Now, I've tried this type of crap at similar establishments and they always tasted...offy...and I didn't buy those again. But this place charges only 99 cents per, hence the reason I tried it, and it tastes damn decent. Granted, it ain't grandma's but it does work well. And they throw in a free DP. I think they might like me, too. Or at least are tolerant of me.


Once a month but no more that twice, I wash and vacuum BT. Jeez, that long grey haired yak that lives in the truck when I'm not around seems to be shedding more. At least there is no trash lying around. I use the car wash brush on her rear end (truck bed, silly) and all over; rinse and vacuum and clean the interior and windows and rims and tires. Yes, for a brief moment in time, she is empty of cargo and my young ass. After she dries in the shade in the early morning, I apply the Quick Detail stuff I have to her finish and she ends up gleaming like a hound's tooth, all purty like. And that take care of cleaning my transport and living quarters for a sum of $5.


In conclusion, you have the totality of my summer routine in all it's orifice-tightening splendor. This summer has not seen any young women puking on the grassy knoll 'screaming for traction', no gays hitting on me, no kids tyring to sell me drugs, no bullets flying and no appearances of the dark underlord himself. Boring is good. However, there has been a burglary, some kids screwing with some moving trucks and a defenceless ATM being hauled screaming from it's place of worship. I had no part in the latter and I assisted the business owners in maintaining assets in the former two. Annd, there was another 'incident' ....


We'll take care of that the next entry,


Take care,


David