Just some things that you might want to be aware of if you venture into the homeless arena. If possible, nix all the white clothes that you might consider taking with you. I know, that color does set a lean, tanned hide off very well especially when accompanied by long gray hair and smoldering dark eyes with a dazzling smile but bleach wasn't one of the necessities on the list of things to take with me. I have a couple of white tank tops and light colored shorts as well as a couple of pair of white ankle socks that I noticed one day that were not as white as they used to be. I thought that these puppies are trash bound. One early morning hot tub event, I was still half asleep and got in the hot tub with white top and light colored shorts on. Hey, the sun wasn't even over the eastern horizon yet! Anyway, the chlorine or whatever they put in the water did a respectable job in whitening them up. I'm sure doing laundry in the hot tub was one activity that wasn't in the design parameters of such a device. The experience reminded me of me of the lead character in Young Einstein taking a bath in a large tub at his parents house while doing the dishes and some laundry. I can see the water conservation aspect of such multi-tasking. Fortunately, I have no dishes.
There is something about the food situation. You will not possess a fridge (well, my truck didn't come with one) so you are going to visit a store on near daily basis except if you buy fruit, nuts or dried fruit. In a Texas summer, I wouldn't trust any canned stuff that has been in my truck more than a couple of days. You really don't want to deal with food poisoning at this juncture. And don't be ashamed to have more than one helping of the treats that some stores put out for the lunch and dinner customers. Ditch the pride - you need the calories. And avail yourself of the condiments - four crackers and two packets of strawberry jam isn't a bad way to start a day and it's free. One more thing; you are not going to be eating as much or as often as you were so if you order from a fast food place, get the kids meal. Trust me, it's more than enough. And forget about those all you can eat buffets; those are not a good deal for you at this point. The object of that endeavor is for you to consume your fair share which you can't do at this point.
For some reason, metabolizing life-forms need water and especially so during the summer. The physics and rationale of the cosmic design for this particular aspect of our existence eludes me. Anyway, all public places have it and it is free. Forecast your water requirements and plan accordingly. I'm probably drinking up to 4 liters a day. Also, ice is free. Some would say the microchip, indoor plumbing and mass produced media are among humanity's greatest achievements. I would like to add refrigeration to that list. I have never appreciated ice as I am doing these days and will never take that for granted again either. It's not like I have a fridge in my vehicle unlike some people. I think I mentioned that.
I'm keeping in touch with the world via email. No, I don't have a cell phone, never did and if I do get one I will probably have to hire a tutor for proper orientation and etiquette. I can see where one could be extremely useful when you take into account that a public telly reams you for 50 or 75 cents per call and on a reduced budget every quarter counts. Despicable telecom companies; how do they expect homeless people to call...someone. But what the hey, there are probably some out there that are cell phone savvy. Oh, on the email, get 2 or 3 accounts. They are free these days. And the library is the place to log on. My truck lacks online capability as well.
No imbibing at places where you camp. I don't think that the cops would cheerfully embrace the notion of you having a happy hour in a vehicle, if they just happened to stop by. Plus, you need to keep your wits about you. You would be surprised at the peace of mind a locked front door of a residence can provide.
I generally wash, dry and fold my one load of clothes once a week usually early Sunday morning when everyone else is asleep or passed out or too hammered to give a rat's rear end what I'm doing if they do notice me. My places are in apartment complexes where I have the access codes for entry onto the property. However, I may extend the time between machine washings since I have discovered an additional functionality of a hot tub.
Fuel conservation is a high priority, right next to fuel for you. Remember all those little jaunts to the neighborhood stores, fast food places, etc. that only took a few minutes for a round trip? Forget those good ol' days. Hopefully, you can position your vehicle at a location that is central to the majority of your activities and walk. Yes, it's going to take longer to 'get stuff' and, yes, there is going to be some sweat involved but think of the fuel that you will be saving and the cardio that you will be getting. Save the fuel for the rainy days, literally, when you just have to be someplace; or for example, you received an interview request for that entry-level CEO position that you sent a resume to. I mentioned earlier that my nearly 4 mile-walk to the library took almost an hour. I timed it today and a little less than 40 minutes elapsed. Now, either I'm getting in better shape or the Earth is spinning faster to help me on my way or the universe is effecting a minimal folded-space conduit along my route.
And while we are alluding to physical exertions, a 3-day a week workout routine would help tremendously in a psychological/emotional sense, not to mention the physical aspects. Again, I'm fortunate enough to have the access codes to a couple of places that have weight machines and free weights...and I walk to those locations, about half a mile. Besides, my schedule isn't exactly crowded at the moment so I really don't have any excuses. During the day you practically have the place to yourself since everyone else is off doing whatever...like work.
Since a homeless person spends significantly more time outdoors, in hot tubs and pools that the average couch potato, the Texas summer requires that you use a body moisturizer to maintain that supple, healthy glow to your skin that you enjoyed as a home-with person with oh-so-little effort. It may sound wimpy to a human male but do it and damn the comments from your jealous peers. Face it; women have been doing it since the garden of Eden and see how good they look! And don't forget the face - I use Clinique moisturizer for men. I also use their facial soap and talk about squeaky clean! For shaving, I use Lab Series shaving cream; expensive but lasts awhile. When I had an apartment, I used to apply a facial every 7-10 days but can't do that now since the truck doesn't have a stove to boil water for the preparation phase. But I digress...
I 'procured' one of those half-chairs that you see around a pool area and have it in the back of my truck. I have to wonder if they made them for kids, small humans or Amazon pygmies because they aren't really functional for an adult human; requires more energy to get in and out of, more so if you factor in cod beer. Anyway, the truck is too warm to lounge in these days and besides, it's not like I can hang out in the cab and watch TV because it doesn't have a one. Jeeezz, what kind of low rent rust bucket do I have? No fridge, stove, bathroom, TV, running water or self-deploying satellite dish. Believe you me, these issues will be addressed at the next new vehicle purchase! Anyway, about the chair - I usually lounge in it after 5 PM until the darkness of the day is well settled in provided, of course, that the gods aren't pelting this section of the planet with that bane of Noah's time. Sometimes there is a breeze blowing and wide open sky. I haven't enjoyed sitting out in evenings like this since I was a child at my grandmother's place in southern Louisiana. If you find yourself in circumstances similar to mine, you might want to get one. When not in use, I flip it over so that only the bottom rung is barely visible. I see no need to remind people of the transport of The Beverly Hillbillies.
I'm kinda anal about nails, not the kind that holds wood together or is sometimes found in body parts; I'm talking about the nails that humans grow on their extremities...well, nearly all of them. Previously, I used emery boards and a type of 'polishing square' that you can buy at any beauty store that shines the nail by rubbing three different surfaces of the square against the nail. I also kept supplies at the office. I briefly thought of going the nail polish route but for me that would be crossing the line; besides the fumes are probably habit forming. These days I use a metal file that came with my manicure kit (yes, I have one) and it performs reasonably well which surprised me. I have an unopened pack of emery boards and polishing square that I'm hoarding for...something down the road. Also, there are a couple of additional elements that are part of my manicure kit for removing unwanted body hair that are an integral part of my grooming routine. My point is that just because a person is homeless and without a self-deploying satellite dish doesn't mean that personal appearances are allowed to degrade. Plus, to me, it's part of personal hygiene regimen and the interactions you do have with other humans will go much smoother if their attention is not distracted by unsightly nails or nose hair that is wedged in your teeth. And speaking of hair, the only thing to do when you have limited finances is to keep those flowing, lustrous locks clean. You can go a couple of days without a shampoo. A haircut is out of the question at this time. I used to spend $30 every three weeks to keep it cut kind of short. Needless to say, since the first of May, it has grown a bit beyond the usual length. I'm unwilling to hazard the do-it-yourself route. A vision of a poorly trimmed tree comes to mind. And thanks to my Native American heritage, I can get by with a couple of shaves a week which works out to a blade a month at a stretch. Heck, when I was working in an office, I only shaved three times a week and nobody complained that much.
And now on to some things that are not as glamorous as other aspects of this lifestyle because I know some of you have thought about them and wondered. I know I would have questions because I did questions when I was watching something about another lifestyle on TV, from roughing it in the wild to those mansions of the rich and shameless. Proceed reading with caution.
Oh, how I miss having my own bathroom; smelling clean, long luxurious showers, soaking in the tub filled with hot water and soaking salts, every surface spotless, decorated in a manner most pleasing, easily accessible, cognitive stimulating reading materials available and current - well, no more. Public restrooms are not quite up to my standards but thankfully they are around for ... 'what the bear does in the woods'. I've encountered only one in my 'range' that deserved to be nuked out of existence; surely the gods never meant for such evil to exist. As for urination, keep a cup handy for use in the vehicle. I have a 64 oz cup (courtesy of 7-11) though I've yet to utilize it's maximum capacity in one occurrence. After finishing, dump it outside on some grass in a most stealthy manner. As for what a woman would do, I have no idea but have no doubt it would be a mystery to the average male. And you'll notice, due to reduced caloric intake, that you won't have to do the 'bear thing' as often as you usually did.
If fresh water is not available, pool and hot tub water will suffice for bathing; shampoo works in both. You may have a slight chlorine aroma but it's better than the alternative. If anyone asks, tell them you're testing out a new summer fragrance for Polo. Luckily for me, fresh water has been available for shaving and teeth brushing...so far. And don't forget about the floss. I don't know about you but I have to do both of those at least once a day. Also, every few days or so, use a lufda to remove old skin. You will have more than you usually did in your previous chapter of life.
Tobacco, not unlike fuel, is expensive. However, you have to buy fuel and ideas will come to on how to conserve. Tobacco is another story; do not spend money on it. You will drastically reduce your intake as I did and maybe even quit which I hope to soon. You would be surprised at how many people smoke half a cig and throw it away. Remember what I said about pride. I'm down to a couple a day and it has been trying but no one has been injured ...yet. On a side note, the preferences in this neck of the woods seem to be Marlboros and Camels, followed by Merits, Mistys and Basics, with a few Dorals and Kools thrown in. Hmmm, I wonder what inferences could be drawn if this data is inserted into a social-economic matrix cross-referenced within a demographic-ethnic context.
Sex? Forget about it, at least I have. I was reminded of that particular aspect of human behavior the other day in a grocery store. A lean, tanned woman maybe in her late thirties complimented my tan and we chatted for a couple of minutes at the deli counter. I cut it short since it was visually apparent that I had recently expended some physical effort. I was reminded that in a earlier time that I would attempted to prolong that interaction. Oh, well...ahhh, I can detect what's going on behind those beady, little eyes of yours in that 300cc mass of gray matter and, no, ain't happening.
Mail...you know, that stuff you used to get when you had a place, of which you had to throw away half of it. It seems that it keeps coming regardless if there is a forwarding address or not so to keep it out of the next resident's hands, file a 30-day request with the post office to hold your mail and stop by at the end of that time period to pick up what mail was sent. You can renew that request every 30 days. I picked mine up today and it's still bills - no checks from a long lost uncle - and they still want money even though I called everyone that I owe money and told them of my situation. My credit report probably has the appearance of being crafted in the anteroom of hell. Oh, well...another challenge to confront when I have the resources to engage it. It's not like they are going to hunt me down and sentence me to hard labor at minimum wage until it's all paid off, right? RIGHT?!?
Well, it's been dark for a bit and the day has been long. I think I walked nearly 10 miles today, or if you're a metric person that's 16 kilometers, and I'm feeling the effect of pleasurable expenditure of physical capacity. I've been writing this, as well as some of my other entries, in a recliner in my patio area (in the half-chair in the bed of my truck) under a parking lot light in one of my camping areas that also is next to a tree that provides some shade to Black Thunder (truck) during the day. The other camping area has similar attributes.
Tomorrow is another 24 hours to see what adventures the spirit of the universe has in store for me...see ya...
