Homeless - 94

Continuing...

Now, let's talk about the medications. I take them in the morning and evening at meal times. They make me feel groggy, sleepy and/or dizzy when standing, devoid of energy and ambition that I used to feel in executing my daily activities. I really don't want to sleep walk through life but these drugs make it pretty damn easy. Did I have mention that I have things to do?  I'm compelled to take a power nap in the late mornings and mid-evenings. Maybe I could do this in another lifestyle but in my current one, not so much. Taking a bunch of pills to stay alive seems unpalatable to me especially when they degrade my physicality.

Growing old was not supposed to be like this, at least not to my younger, naive perception. I can take the decreased physicality, not being able to out run, out fight and out fuck any mammal on the planet but having to take drugs to stay alive wasn't anticipated. That attribute alone degrades the quality of life for me. I know what you're thinking. Taking drugs to stay alive should be a no-brainer. We're trained and educated to value life and to prolong it at nearly any cost. The fear of death is ingrained within us but is a life plagued by sickness and decreased physicality worth the trouble?

Of course, the pharmaceuticals and insurance industry are dry stroking themselves all over the place with the legalized cash cow that they have in place. Their business models are based on treating the disease, not curing it. I fail to see the difference between the legal and illegal drug pushers.

Wait, I got it! One is legal because it consistently makes 'donations' to politicians to enact laws to ensure their continuing profitability of said industries that manipulate our existing capitalistic system for their benefit. I don't know what term to apply our economic system but it ain't capitalism. We'll get to that in a later post.

And there is the other thing about getting old - vision. I swear, when we reach a certain age. does our DNA computer throw the 'fuck it' switch, preparing for a mortality flush? Anyway, I didn't need glasses until '08. The optometrist said that I had developing cataracts. It seems that the UV technology has gotten better over the years but I spent a lot of time outdoors when that tech wasn't as good as it is today.

These days I very rarely venture out of my section; well, only rarely but with a recon during daylight hours if I need to be at a place at a certain time. Images are a bit fuzzy at about forty meters and beyond. Hell, a drunken pygmy could sneak up on me. When BT is traveling at warp, my interpretation and decision time is limited or non-existent and nobody's reflexes are that good to make adjustments. The optometrist said that my condition can easily be cured by laser surgery. That means, according to her, that an optometrist who is skilled in the finer aspects of employing lasers, can fine tune those puppies to burn that evil from my eyes and restore my full eyesight. I'm assuming that said optometrist will adjust the laser from 'vaporize bulldozer' to 'fix eyeballs'. And the procedure only costs eight thousand dollars.

So again, if any of you know of an optometrist in the Dallas area who is adept in this kind of surgery and willing to do pro bono work, let me know.

Lastly, there is the diet thingy. Since my current lifestyle became active, I don't have access to food storage and preparation. I'm sure that the detrimental effects of having the fast food industry supply your main source of meals has been remarked upon a time or two. When you have limited means, there aren't that many healthy alternatives. Also, from time to time, a free meal is offered at those establishments via coupons. My home-cooked meals are few and far in between. These days, I eat a couple of decent meals a week at Norma's Cafe - good stuff. Three or four times a week, I eat a two dollar salad from a Kroger's salad bar. Beyond the nuts and dried fruit that I keep in BT, it is fast food (high-fat, high- cholesterol, high-death quotient) that supplies the remainder of my diet; always kids' meals though. As it is, perhaps too much, given my current medical condition. During cold weather, those visits increase. On cold mornings I visit a Brahms for a biscuit and something, plus they have the morning paper.

At the beginning of this lifestyle, I knew that working out was a high priority in maintaining health. I had thought that exercise would counter balance my genetic heritage which is a poor one at best. On the maternal side, there was cancer, circulatory problems, heart attacks and Alzheimer's. On my father's side, well, I only have one example - him. I met him a couple of times in my life, the last time being in the early '80's during my first college tour. At that time, he had had three bypasses, babbled like an idiot and had a huge belly - ain't no telling the last time he saw his dick without the aid of a mirror. That experience disgusted and scared me. I wondered at that time if my genetics would make me turn out that way. So far, I can look down and still see the floor. However, forget about long walks in the woods. I'm fortunate to be able to walk down two or three grocery aisles without my legs cramping up.

Well, life goes on for now, a heartbeat and a breath at a time.

Next time...